First and foremost, I would like to emphasize and elaborate further that everything that is written here is all about my thoughts, emotions, the truth of the actual issue, and handled in an unbiased, preempted point of both parties. Also, this blog aims to and desires to put an end to such a humongous issue the past week..
Now, here I go..
How would everyone actually deal life after a break up? How would a person find the best coping mechanism to totally get rid of the pain and hurt you feel inside? I have finally came up with the answer.. It is to talk it over to the world. Why to the world? Because at least, when you finally talk to the world, you left them hanging, just as how people left you hanging and clueless on some matters.. Specifically in a break up.
People know me as that one big guy, with a huge mouth, and a loud voice, who speaks his heart out, and who would always be ready to defend what I say. Either before my ‘recently concluded’ relationship, during that relationship, and now, even the relationship. So NO ONE, I mean, NO ONE REALLY MUST AND SHOULD SAY NA “Nag-iba na si Vincent. Hindi siya ganyan dati magsalita”. If you truly know me by who I really am, you’d know that from the start. There are 2 kinds of men kase; The “Man of few words”, and the “Man with a million say”. And mind you, both of ‘em are intelligent.
Now, I understand that every breakup must be private. It must only be meddled between the two party involved. Technically, the girlfriend, and the boyfriend, per se. But to begin with, how would you expect that this breakup will be as private and as easy as it could be to handle, where in fact, friends from the other party (or on of her friend) first actually knew of the problem, instead of me knowing it. Going on to that point, what actually worsen the situation is the intrusion of her friends, particularly in Twitter, with tweets showing reaction to my tweets. Wow?! Just wow. Really. You guys worsen the situation. To tell you honestly, my friends and I kept things private. We kept it in a private groupchat, with us discussing the ‘what ifs, and whatnot’ of the story. You guys? You reacted drastically on the things I tweet. The things I retweet, and the quotes I do. Wow? Does the shoe fit? In the first place, some of you aren’t even my followers, so how would you even know and dare to react on my tweets? Stalkers? Hehehe.
I understand you just friends, trying to help your affected friend in going through this ordeal in an easy way, but I hope, the manner of helping you did is in an intelligent, just, fair, unbiased, and most of all, in a morale way. Why? What people will say on the issue is thrown to your friend, not on you. And if they only knew that you were somehow part of (I hate saying this, but..) ‘brainwashing’ or other may call it ‘influencing’ your friend, then that wouldn’t actually matter anymore.
Yeah, I admit that I post boisterously online. I post quotes, or even say what I truly feel, but mind you, I HAVE NEVER DARED PUTTING NAMES ON MY EX. I HAVE NEVER DID! Nothing, I just felt insulted really on how my ex branded me as “Peste”. I really couldn’t imagine her saying that.
But you know what, there’s this thought in my mind that actually lead to the confirmation of all the speculations I had. Why must everyone on her side react way beyond the capacity of a morale and rational state of mind of a human being, just right after me tweeting about the “viber” thing? Why haven’t they reacted right before the issue started? Bakit kung kelan lang lumabas yung tungkol sa viber and 3rd party thing, dun lang kayo nagsalita? Bakit? Bakit? :))
Sorry, but I guess I have to start reminding the readers of their freewill to stop reading, because after this line, you might not be able to like me anymore because of the things that I will be saying. Your discretion is very much necessary at this point.
So yeah, going back. Why? Bakit nga ba? Kase kailangan na nating magbuhat ng bangko? Kailangang na nating isalba ang lumulubog nating barko ng pagkakakilanlan? Kailangan na nating magsave ng image? Hehehe.
So yeah, I mentioned about 3rd party. Let’s stick to that.
I hate believing that it is actually already to be considered a third party kind of love affair, but how would you asses things, when all of a sudden, a breakup happened without even knowing the real reason of the one who initiated it? Oh yeah, no one initiated, because in the first place, she asked for space. I overreacted because I was literally in awe on why must she ask for space and just telling me that her reason is that “I’m confused”. Confused on what? Confused on where? So eventually, as days passed by, I learned the answer. Confused onto whether she still loves me, or not. Confused onto whether she’ll put her heart over her mind, or the other way around. And lastly, confused on who matters the most; The one she finds happiness with being by her side most of the day, or the one who was there right from the very start of everything.. I know, it is hard. IT IS REALLY HARD.
And so yeah, as a Political Science student, trained to assess things in a balanced and just manner, we should also look onto what may have been MY shortcomings.
2. Taken her for granted [?]
3. Really not telling her if I am still a virgin or what.
4. She is not happy with me anymore.
This was her reason. Her major reason. Because I am not able to spend much of the time with her anymore. I am too busy doing my own things. My own business. My own necessities. To cut it short, apparently, I am always busy.
Yeah, I do admit I am not always able to spend more time with her, basically because of the complications brought about by our class schedule. Whenever I’m free, she’d be having a straight class. Whenever she’s free, I’m stuck-bored in my Rizal 100 class, or the worse, ALGEBRA 101.
But yeah, everyone has a say na “kahit anong pagka busy pa yan, you will definitely find time to be with her still.” And, I guess I did? Whenever I am at home, and she is, too, or even when she’s having a duty at a clinic/hospital, I try even for once to visit her and somehow bring something for her to eat. You don’t call it time?
One more factor about time; Texting/Calling her as often as before.
I admit that in the past, during the early stages of our relationship, we text and call a lot. I usually start texting her in the morning, and usually end up texting her my good night, or sometimes do it by calling her even for a minute. But things started changing during November-December. I became busy with shirt printings, online societal issues, and my school. Her? Yeah, she is busy too with school. And innocently, starting to actually fall out of love from me.
Taken for Granted
I really don’t know how people define this. Really. Is it when you just be a little bit too complacent on her? Or is it when you stop valuing her the way you usually do before? I really don’t know. Why? Because as far as my love and affection is concerned, I never did. Guys, it is actually on how you assess the situation. If you see your partner starting to be that unmindful of you, investigate. Ask. Don’t just jump into conclusion.
Here’s the thing. Starting November of last year, the primary reason why I started limiting my self in dating with her, or anything that concerns money, is because I AM ALREADY STARTING TO SAVE FOR MY SURPRISE SCHOOLYEAR-END TRIP TO TAGAYTAY FOR THE BOTH OF US. I even stopped my self from purchasing a new phone just to save for that dream trip of hers. Hehe. Now, is that clear to everyone?
Virginity. MY Virginity
So apparently, during my rebel moments in my junior years, when my peers and I decided to go out for a drink instead of attending the class. Yeah, we ditched the class for a whole day of drink. There were boys and girls. A lot of girls. And when I was totally drunk, I just lie down the bed. Unconsciously, there were 2 girls who were playing things on me. Modesty aside, though. But when I woke up, I find my pants and briefs in an unusual position. Not the usual position I do. Hahaha. Funny, coz really, I was almost half-naked. And when I woke up, everyone else was sleeping. So that’s it. Now, here’s the thing. Even during the early years of our relationship, I told her about this thing. But never had I gave a final word as to whether I am still a virgin or not. What’s the matter. I’m a guy. I lose no virginity after all. Now, that’s one of her reason kase during the entire 29 months of our relationship, I wasn’t to tell her if whether I am still really a virgin or not anymore. Wooooshh
So here’s the thing.. Happiness. She is not happy with me anymore. I don’t blame her for that. But sana man lang, nasabihan ako at an early time pa para maagapan? During that time, I was her boyfriend, and so I guess as your partner for 2 years and so, I have the right to know things directly from you. I have the right to know the problem, just as how I told you before about how i am alarmed by you being too clingy on me. How I don’t want you to make me your world. You know why? I hate that the day will come na bigla akong mawawala of an accident, or of a murder, tas biglang guguho na lang rin ang mundo mo. I knew you were intelligent. I knew you are still intelligent. But I never expected that you will take that move I did against me, and made that the reason to place a gap or a wall between us. Why? All I ever wanted was a more matured relationship. Because seriously, I am already starting to plan for our future. Yeah, that’s how I loved you, that I am already starting to picture our future together.
There’s this one thing that I would like to share to all of you. My father and I had a conversation about what Grad gift will I want after graduating. I answered him that I’d prefer money. More like 100K-200K. He asked me why. I answered him with words that went this way; “I want to end my school and start a new life with Maeriel. I want that when I finally graduate, I will first marry her, and then pursue my Law career”. He told me, “Okay. I will support you.” Alam kong hindi mo alam ito, Mae. Kase, may mga plano lang talagang mas magandang tinatago ko muna sa sarili ko, lalo na’t kung alam kong ito’y ikasasaya mo ng lubusan. Kilala mo ako, hindi ako yung tipo ng lalaking sasabihin ang lahat ng plano ko, tas in the end, ay hindi magagawa. You know me. I am full of surprises. And modesty aside, I am very much proud that most of my surprses are unique and undergoes tedious times of brainstorming to perfect it. One best example is the surprise serenade I did to you.I just really hope na alam mo ang mga bagay na ito. But actually, it doesn’t matter now.
Now, what tears me down the most is how will I even tell my dad and mum about our break up, because all along, being legal to both our parents was never an issue. My mum and her mum are best of friends.
Haaaay. Ang dami ko nang sinasabi dito. Sobrang dami na baka merong iba sa inyo ang hindi na tatapusin ito. Pero sorry, kase eto na lang ang alam kong way kung paano sabihin ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko, kase mahirap kung iisa-isahin ko kayo sa gusto kong sabihin. Nakakapgod rin kaya.
To the public, I thank you for being too attached in this relationship of ours. You know why? IT GAVE ME THE REASON TO BE FAITHFUL. Ang sarap lang magmahal pag alam mong maraming nakakaalam sa relasyon niyo. Kase hindi ko magawang maghanap pa ng iba dahil anjan sila para i-remind ako of how beautiful a relationship I have.
I am no hypocrite to say that I don’t look at other girls. But that’s the point. I look. I stare. I glance. But I never give a second glance that would give that girl a sign of flirting from me.
Thanks rin sa lahat ng nakisali. Alam niyo bakit? Dun ko lang na prove na nawalan ako ng taong pinakamamahal ko the past time, pero nagkaroon ako ng maramign suporta. Oo, andami kong sinasabi, at hindi ako takot magsalita sa Twitter. Kase alam kong, kahit na mahalungkat man ang lahat ng bagay at dahilan ng hiwalayan, ay wala akong ikasisira dahil simula’t sapul, HINDI AKO NANGALIWA!! Eto ang mahirap eh, pag nagsasalita, sasabihing maraming alam. Kesyo sasabihin mayabang na walang alam na kamalian sa sarili. I TELL YOU THIS PEOPLE, YOU NEED NOT TO KNOW EVERYTHING TO PROVE THE PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT. ALL YOU NEED IS AN OPEN AND LIBERATED MIND. Now tell me who’s who?
Syempre, magiging abogado ako, at alam ko ang takbo ng mga bagay sa isang imbestigasyon. Ang taong guilty, gagamitin ang “Right against self-incrimination” para nang sagayo’y, their words won’t be used against them. And also, those who come to the court with clean hands are those who speak much. That means they know the truth that is why they are never afraid to talk. A substantial talk.
To the guy involved:
Brother, balita ko close ka raw sa lahat ng mga babaeng kaklase mo? Balita ko overly attached ka sa girls sa school. Sana lang, hindi mo magawang magpaasa ng mga babae dahil jan sa pagiging close mo sa kanila. Balita ko kase nasambit mo ang salitang “Hindi ako nagsesryoso sa mga babae” at yung tipong mababaw ang tingin mo sa kanila. Hehe. Oo, ayokong maniwala, pero 4 na kakaklase/kabarkada mo na ang nagsabi sa akin nun. Hehehe.
Pinakilala ako ni Maeriel sa’yo bilang boyfriend niya, so aware ka na may karelasyon siya. At alam kong ikaw ang naging sandalan niya sa mga oras na nagkakaproblema siya sa akin, at aware akong you tried helping save the relationship. Pero, brad. Lalaki rin ako. Alam at mararamdaman ko kung may attachment at pagpapahiwatig nang ginagawa ang babae sa akin. Kung naramdaman mo yun, edi sana sinabihan at pinaalala mo na saknya na may karelasyon siya. Oo, alam kong hindi ikaw ang dapat sisihin dito, pero putangina! OO PUTANG INA. Alam mo na palang nagkakaproblema kame, bakit hindi mo pa siya tinulungang maayos. Ayokong isipin, pero leche. Tinake advantage mo ang pagiging ma-emosyon ni ex ko para magpafall naman. Wag mo akong magago dahil unang una sa lahat, nanggaling na rin ako jan! At hindi ko ikinakahiya yun. Ako ang kadalasang takbuhan nina Jessa, Ryne, Alyssa, Charmaine, at iba pa tungkol sa kanilang mga problema sa pagibig, pero kailanman, hindi ko ginamit ang sitwasyon na yun para magpakita ng hiwatig na may pagtingin ako sa kanila. Kung sakali mang naramdaman mo nang nahuhulog ka na sa ex ko noon, edi sana pinigilan mo kase punyeta. Kabit na ang tawag sa yo dun! Pero oo, alam kong sasabihin mo rin na hindi mo kasalanang mainlove sayo ang magaling kong ex. Pero pucha naman, kung nalaman mo na sanang unti unti na siyang nahuhulog sa iyo, edi sana sinubukan mong pigilan, hindi yung ipapakita mong mga damoves mo naman. At bilang panghuli? Magpakalalaki ka. Ikaw ang nasa gitna ng lahat ng ito, sana man lang matuto kang kausapin ako. Dahil putangina, nung niligawan ko ang ex ko, kinausap ko muna ang ex niya na barkadang matalik ko. Oo, ganun ako ka seryoso sa ex ko na ulitmo ex niyang gago, kinausap ko. Sana man lang naisip mo yun.
And lastly, to my ex.
Alam ko namang hindi mo na babasahin ito eh. Alam kong wala ka nang pakealam. Pero eto lang masasabi ko sa’yo. Pagdating ng panahon, hinding hindi ko ikakahiya ang relasyon natin. Bagkus, ipagmamayabang ko ito. Bakit? Kase sa relasyong ito, hindi ako nagtaksil. Hindi ako nangaliwa. Hindi ako nagmahal ng iba. Ginawa ko ang lahat para mapasaya ka. Ikaw ang naghanap ng kaligayahan sa iba. Hindi kita sisisihin dahil dun, pero sana man lang, isipin mo ang pinakaunang paraan ng pagkakakilala ko sa’yo. Ikaw yung babaeng galit sa mga lalake dahil sa mga panlolokong ginawa ng mga ex mo sa’yo. At simula’t sapul, parati kong sinasabi na ibahin mo ako sa kanila. Oo, iba nga ako. Kase ako lang siguro yung ex mong walang humpay at takot sa pagsasalita. PEro bakit nga ba? Ganun lang kase ako ka proud sa yo. Pasensya nemen. Salamat sa pagbabagong ginawa mo sa akin. I must say, you have brought too much change in me. You have helped me be the man I am today. That’s why I speak this way is because you inflicted pain in me, and that pushed me to be this way. Yes, you made a choice. You chose your heart over your mind, and I respect you for that. But dear ex, if there’s one thing that I beg from you now, that is to please stop fooling yourself and making yourself look like a bitch over this breakup. You know why? I have been receiving messages lately telling me how much of a bitchy-like girl you had been, from tweeting with other guys on twitter just right after our breakup. I know you are trying to cope up with the pain you feel, but seriously, the public have much to say about us, and you most especially. So please, save your image. You try to show us that you’re happy and strong, because truth is? You are just fooling yourself to the public. Don’t try proving to me na you find it easy to move on, kase the public says na NAGHANAP KA LANG PO NG PARAAN PARA MATAPOS ANG RELASYON, AT NAGHANAP KA LANG PO NG MGA DAHILAN AGAINST ME PARA TAPUSIN ANG LAHAT. Bakit nga ba, ex? Bakit nga bang takot kang aminin sa madla na na-FALL OUT OF LOVE KA SA AKIN AT NAGMAHAL KA NA NG IBA? Oo, big deal yun sa society natin, kase unang una sa lahat, babae ka. At ikaw pa ang nakagawa ng ganyan. Ooooops. Nababastos ka na ata eh. Sorry ah? Habang pinangangalandakan mo kase yung pictures niyo ni “guy bestfriend” mo, at katweet mo yung mga kung sino2x sinong lalake, eh hindi mo po namamalayang binabastos mo na rin ako bilang “EX” mo. Konting respeto lang rin. Ginagamit mo rin ang sobrang kabaitan ang ang weakness ko eh. But now really? You know what? I REALLY DON’T CARE ANYMORE. I REALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK AS TO WHO YOU WANT TO BE WITH. WHATEVER PICTURE YOU UPLOAD AND WHOEVER YOU ARE WITH IN THAT IMAGE. Kase, HINDI PO AKO ANG NASISIRA. Gumagawa ka lang po ng bagay na mismong ikasisira mo.
I remember you reacting to Allen Sanoria’s tweet that led to you saying “Bakit hindi siya nasisira?” Bakit nga ba? Sorry, kase simula pa lang ng laht ng ito, tinanggap ko na ang pagkukulang at kamalian ko. At hindi ako nanghinayang na ilabas yun sa madla. Eh ikaw, hindi ka na nga nagbigay ng klarong dahilan sa break up, tas ipapakita mo agad na may mga katweet at kasama ka nang iba sa picture. Oo, sasabihin mong hindi dapat nilalagyan ng malisya pero, uhm, babae ka po kase. Hindi po dapat ganun. Self respect more than anything else.. :)
At sa kung ano mang ang tatahakin niyong daan, at sa desiyong gagawin ninyo, ikakaligaya ko yun. Alam mo baket? Alam ko kasing mahihirapan lang kayo, lalu na’t unconsciously, during your relationship (if ever), it will just be a matter of proving to the public na you have to stay strong para ipakita na tama ang mga desisyon ginawa niyo :)
Masakit ang mga nakasulat dito, alam ko. Ganyan rin ang sakit na naramdaman ko. Actually, kulang pa. Kulang pa rin kase yung pagmumukhang tanga ko sa mga tao nang hindi ko alam na may problema na pala. Hehe.
Marami pa akong gustong sabihin, pero ireserve na natin sa susunod ba blog kase alam kong may magrereact dito. I am expecting it. AND I WON’T CARE! :) I know you guys will wonder kung bakit kaya ko nang sabihin ang lahat ng ito. Kung bakit unti-unti ko nang nagagawa ito.. Simple lang. Kase hindi na ako nasasaktan. At masaya akong napalitan na ng galit ang pagmamahal na tumigil sa akin noon para sabhihan ka ng masasamang bagay. Don’t worry, ex. You are in the process of learning your lesson. You are just learning it the hard way. For in the end, on my part, I know I did everything to work it out. I did all that I coul to make you happy. I did all that I can to remain faithful.
This will be one of the last times na magsasalita ako about this. Hindi ko na idadaan sa twitter para naman MAY PRIVACY :)
P.S: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL MY FRIENDS TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS ISSUE, BECAUSE TO BEGIN WITH, IT WAS YOUR FRIENDS WHO FIRST INVOLVED THEMSELVES IN THIS BREAKUP ISSUE. SILA ANG UNANG TUMANGGAP AT NAGASSUME SA MGA TWEETS KO. AT HIGIT SA LAHAT, GINUSTO NILANG SUMALI, KAYA PANINDIGAN NILA. AT WAG NILANG ISIPIN NA SA KANILA LANG LAHAT PATUNGKLOL ANG MGA TWEETS KO DAHIL UNANG UNANG SA LAHAT, WALA PA KAYONG TWITTER, MAY TWITTER NA AKO! :D
Wow. Pasensyado ka talagang magbasa. Halatang chismoso/a ka hahahaha. Labyu. Move na tayo :)))
There are just those times when you’d ask God why must all this should happen? Why should things turn out this way? Why hasn’t it went the way we want it to be? And foremost, why should it hurt this much?
How do you mend a broken heart when in the first place, it’s been crashed to the meanest way any heart could be broken? How do you start finding your self again when all that you know is that you are already at a good state of manhood with the one you love?
Questions. Questions. Questions. I have never pictured my self asking this questions. I do not even know how to answer these..
It was that very happy 22nd day of December, 2013, where I was all at high hopes and inspired since finally, all my efforts would pay off already. Since finally, after such a long time, I could surprise my girl again, and this time, it will be in front of her relatives and friends. I find it very exciting since I know for the first time, I can somehow make her girl friends envious of such a wonderful surprise birthday gift and performance. All went well in the start. But honestly, I never felt the spark while the surprise thing was going. But despite the hurt i’m feeling that time, I still continued and showed no sign of hurt. Deep inside my mind I was telling my self; “If I’d see her smile, then even somehow, I know she’s surprised”. And so she did. And so there’s that portion of my feelings that said that it’s okay.
And so the party went on, and things happened. Till I decided to go out with friends for a couple of drinks, and chose not to drink more than one bottle since I know how she hates me getting drunk. I had one good bottle, and then decided to go home.
Upon reaching home, I was all smiles and feeling the essence of relief. Texted her telling I’m home. And when suddenly, the unexpected ones started to come. (I’d choose not to go into deeper context since I don’t want this to be more of a one-sided issue).
The first question that got in my mind? “Saan ako nagkulang?”
The next? “Hindi na ba siya masaya?”
And the later part of every question? “Bakit? May iba na bang nagpapasaya sa kanya?”
Lahat yun natanong ko na. Minsan nga, napapatulala na lang ako’t napapatingin ng malayo. Para akong sinakluban ng langit at lupa, idagdag mo na ang bigat ng hanging dala ng bagyong Yolanda. Hindi ko mawari kung ano ang gagawin, o kung ano ang sasabihin. Basta’t ang tanging nagawa ko ay umiyak. Mahigit apat na taon na rin mula nung maiyak ako ng ganun kabigat dahil sa pag-ibig. Badoy noh? Tangina. Pero hindi kase ako yung tipo ng lalake na magaastang ayos lang ang lahat kung ang katotohanan naman ay talagang sobrang nasasaktan na ako.
Tila ba naging totoo ang mga pangyayari sa pelikulang “One More Chance”, at tila ba naging kame ang tagapagganap sa character nina Popoy at Basha. Mula nung gabing yon, patuloy ang pag-iyak ko hangga’t sa sumikat na muli ang araw. Hindi ako nakatulog sa sobrang iyak, na tila ba wala na akong gana pang bumangon sa aking pagkakahiga. Pero sinabi ko sa sarili ko na maayos rin ang lahat.
Sa kinahaba-haba ng mga naganap, hindi ko namalayang Pasko na pala. Hindi ko man lang naramdaman ang buong diwa ng pasko dahil sa halip na saya at pagpupunyagi ang maghari sa aking puso, ito’y napalitan ng pait at kirot na dulot nitong mapaglarong tadhana ng pag-ibig.
Masakit rin palang maramdaman na tila ba ika’y tinalikuran ng taong pinakamamahal mo. Na tila ba mayroon kang hindi nagawa na sobrang dinibdib niya kung kaya’t pinili niya munang magpakalayo-layo sa’yo. Na tila ba hindi pa sapat ang lahat ng ginawa mo para mapasaya siya sa harap ng maraming tao.
Maybe, too much of everything is really unhealthy. Maybe, too much love can really kill you. And maybe, when you focus on making her the happiest princess in what you have created up as a fairy tale love story, you’d find yourself helpless and pitiful of not learning to love yourself, too.
Hindi ko inakalang ang mga bagay na ginawa ko noon para maging mas matibay at matured ang relasyong ito, ay siyang magiging mitya pala upang matapos ang lahat ng ito. Sa huli, nasa akin pa rin ang sisi. Kung hindi ko na lang sana ginawa ang mga bagay na iyon, at kung hinayaan ko na lang sana na maging tila isang laro ang lahat, edi sana hindi siya nawala sa akin.
But after all that had happened, I came to realize that it takes one very special match to light a fire. And with that fire brings out the necessary things you need in order for you to live. And when I say live, it means to grow.
People kept on telling me to just let it be, and to just give her the space and time she needs. That she might just want to find her self first and become more matured so that when she comes back, she’d be better. That she might just need enough time to realize how much she’d miss me when I’m gone.
Pero para sa akin, hindi yun ang point eh. I loved her for what she is, and If I only knew that asking for something that both of us would benefit from would be the cause of this, then I should have not asked in the first place.
People told me after that it is a healthy ending. That it is much better that way rather than ending it with a guilty feeling. At least there’s no third party involved, no unfaithful affairs meddled the situation, or whatsoever. Pero hindi eh. Masakit. Sobrang sakit.
No one ever told me that it would be this painful. But maybe, that’s just the way it is. If it hurts, it’s true love, to begin with.
But what would I expect after this? Magbabagong taon pa naman…
Minsan nga sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na sana parte na lang ito ng plano niya para sorpresahin ako sa birthday ko next week. Pero hinde eh. Napaka sobra namang paraan ito ng pagsosorpresa, kung sakali.
We are not Popoy and Basha to depict such a theatrical and scripted story. In the first place, we are who are. But if there are things that I am grateful for of this relationship, it is the part where once in my life, I came across a total stranger, who eventually became a girl with a special place in my heart, and who have stayed in the softest most delicate part of my life for the past 29 months, and would remain a lifetime. Also, it is the part where even how much we try to keep everything private, we still managed to inspire other people and prove to the world how nice and beautiful this world is to be loved. That very single detail of hope we gave to every person who desires and longs for a relationship as beautiful and as fruitful as ours.
Miss, Babe, Baby, Loves, or whatever term of endearment you want me to call you, I just want to let you know how much you mean to me. How much change you did and brought into my life. How that mean, rude, and naughty guy during highschool, became a man of respect and dignity after knowing and loving you. That man will remain forever. I promise. Thanks for making me feel loved. Thanks for bringing me back to the place where I should be; Accepted and loved not only by the society, but most importantly, the people that are mostly important to me. You have done the best you could to change me, and my friends, family and loved ones are a testament to how successful you have been in changing me for the better. Thanks, and I will miss you..
So I guess I have to end this all here. This way.. Maybe I have to start moving on with life, and learn to value my self, too. Maybe, I also need to look onto other people and make them love life and feel loved, too. Funny right? I tend to make other people laugh and happy, but I find it hard to make myself happy in return. But that’s life eh. It’s a matter of choice. And I chose to make others happy despite the hurted-feelings I have inside.
Sorry if I have to pass it through my blog. It’s just that the person I am expecting to listen to me when I am about to bleed out is now gone. But rest assured, in my life and in my heart, she will never ever be forgotten.